Update 09

Sep 28, 2009

Wow, as always, I've waited too long to update. I had my twin boys 2 yrs ago...the other day my daughter says, Mom, you still look pregnant. :-(
I am NOT happy. To top it all off, my husband swears I'm cheating on him with an Ex of mine. WTF? I am so angry, pissed depressed and seriously want OUT of this marriage 10 yrs ago. He's always put me down. When I was fat, that was his excuse and reason for being mean to me. When I went down to 117 lbs, he was mean to me still by telling me I was acting like a slut....HELLO, I was just happy to wear clothes that made me look good! Well, now that Im weighing in at 170lbs, he says it because my Ex liked me fat.
We both started seeing a counselor because I can not take him and his crap any more. He's got such a low self esteem, he's extreemly jealous, he's a pesimist who only see's the con's and negatives in my ideas or plans. I hate it! And hate is a strong word. But I really am so miserable. I want to be away from him so bad. I cry constantly to be away and have started getting nose bleeds cause of the stress I feel from him. He interogates me and questions the kids on all that I do. He goes through my cell phone and get's upset if  try to go anywhere without 3 or more kids. With no family here for help and support it's hard....it's even harder when I have no job and no education to get a good paying job. :-(
On a good note, the weight is slowly coming off now...down to 170 from 185.

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