weezieweeks

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I know you get out what you put in and I have not put much in,so no real surprise on lack of progress. I signed up at a clinic today for the phentermine and topiramate, so will see how that goes while I am researching revision options.  I had an EGD to see how my insides look, but that surgeon does not do revisions.   He referred me to the medical supervision, but then I found one closer to my house that a friend of mine uses.  Will report back soon!

So, I have taken off a couple pounds, so back to where I was around February of 2013.  I am thinking more about what I am eating, taking my supplements and I started wearing my pedometer.  Of course, after one day, I "forgot" to put it on, but got it on today and already over 1,000 steps!

Wow, I cannot believe how long it has been since my last post - and I wonder why I have gained weight....

I was going through my profile today, deleting other people that no longer post and thought I better post something or I will look inactive, too.

Recently, I attended a weight loss seminar with my friend and really "heard" that I am missing the saiety (feeling of fullness) when I eat.  I know what I "should" be eating, and usually stop - but do snack and graze, another killer habit according the the doctor hosting the seminar.

My surgery has not been a failure (as far as I know), but I have let myself down.  I am currently exploring revision options as well as other nonsurgical options.  The thing I am really scared of is hopping back on the rollercoaster diet cycle, so am not changing anything and am slowly gaining.  I moved to Nevada 1.5 years ago and realized I gained 15 pounds...dang, that is almost a pound a month.  I have had some short spells of success in losing and then go right back to my old habits.

As part of my journey to success, I am researching the support groups in the area and making some contacts here.  I am not sure what part of me I do not want to give up with my eating habits and may need to take a look at the whole mental thing, too.

Geez, I cannot believe it has been a year since my surgery!  I am down 116# - that is a whole person!  My new mini goal is to get below 200 - but not going to start the whole dieting cycle to get there.

2008 was not a good year for me - I would say the WLS was the highlight. 

In Oct '07, my mom was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer that had spread to her brain.  Somehow, they managed to take out the tumor(s) in her brain and then treated her with the Gamma knife, some big procedure, that stopped that part of her cancer growing.  Her lung cancer is inoperable and radiation was not recommended - so she got on the chemo wagon.  My mom quit smoking 30 yrs ago.  I quit in 93 an am not feeling so good about my chances here.

In March, my brother was diagnosed with laryngeal cancer, also Stage IV - he had a terrible tumor in his neck and lymph and it was on his aorta.  He is also inoperable, but they wanted to treat him aggressively with chemo and radiation in order to stop the tumor from growing and eating through his aorta or crushing his windpipe (either would have killed him).  My brother still smoked.  Unfortunately, he died on December 13, leaving my sister and I, our mother and his two kids, 9 yr old Jessie and 23 y/o Russell.

I miss him a lot and it is hard some days to know he is really gone.  He was two years older than me.  We are so grateful that we lived nearby him and were able to take care of him all the way to the end.  I think it has been harder to settle his estate than it was to take care of him.  I wish I could trade it back.

Many people asked me, when my brother was diagnosed, if I was going to delay my surgery.  I said No Way!  I knew I needed to stick to my plan in the hopes of being healthier in order to be there for my family members.

I have been laying awake all night, thinking about lots of stuff, so I decided, maybe I should try this blogging thing!

I hope to write more soon.

I went shopping last night as I am so sick of the few things I can still wear and so tired of wearing clothes that are too big.  I really wanted to reach 100 pound loss, but I think that will be at least Christmas time and I cannot go that much longer.  Imagine my surprise that I got into size 16 Long!  Wow!  I sure did not see that coming; I was hoping for 18...Today, I went to Ross and found 2 more pairs of pants in 16 and 3 tops in XL!  I am feeling like a new woman.  I may even be willing to wear the shrink wrap again (Spanx and various other compression items)!!  I have finally been cleaning out my closet and finding more and more that does not fit.  Not sure what I have been wating for, nor do I understand how I thought most of my stuff still fit.  By the way, the reason I went to Ross is because I had a brand new dress, with the tags still on, that I had been saving to wear until I was sure it would fit really good and it was too big when I put it on.  So I took it back to Ross and they gave me store credit since I no longer had the receipt.  Worked for me!  I am at 92 pounds lost and sure have a long ways to go, but really like how I am feeling today!

My pantyhose fell off the other day.  I figured, Oh, this pair must have been some of the last I bought to fit into....when I got home it was the smaller size....that is progress!!

Now it feels real.....one week to go....really feeling excited today...