Jody B.

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Just had my 6 month check up  a few  weeks  ago .   Dr.s are happy.  I however  have been on  a  6 week stall.  Nut wants me 1100 calories .   I made a post online and everyone  seems  to ťhink it crazy to be at that calorie  level.  So I'm  dropping  down to 800 again  to see if that helps.  Still happy and comfortable ,  thrilled  I  had my surgery . 

It's been awhile, almost to my three month surgery anniversary.   Doing very well.   The occasional nausea is gone, hunger under control, making wise choices.   Work keeps me extremely busy and very tired so I have not jumped on the exercise band wagon as of yet.  I know, I know poor excuse.   Headed to Florida this week for a little R&R, so I've determined I will start at least adding some walking everyday.  Then I need to choose to keep that up once home and add some strength training.   A little positive step forward.  Mentally I'm still scared.  How will I feel 3 more months down the road?   Will I be able to control the hunger beast and continue to make wise choices?  Now I feel in control, I love that my sleeve won't allow me to over eat,  that I don't have many cravings.   My husband is so much happier with me, and seems proud that I can only eat a tiny bit.  Here's to the next month - moving forward on my adventure. 

Doing well.  Have occasional nausea but no more episodes.   Still quite tired after working all day but it's manageable.   I've started to have times of hunger very empty stomach feeling.   Every day is different,  some days I have to force myself to have something, and other days I feel empty every couple hours.  During Christmas I did want to pig out on some special foods we don't have normally sitting around, but I knew I just couldn't and therefore didn't.  Just because certain foods feel so good to eat, like pizza, or chips and salsa, I'm starting to have what some people call (mourning the loss of that lifestyle).  So I may be feeling a little down about that this past week.  Still glad of my decision,  just need to work through these things.

Tomorrow I head back to work.  My energy has increased tremendously in the past week.  I'm sure work will wear me out,  but I feel more confident about being able to handle things. I do get nausea and dry heaves every few days,  but am told it's normal.   Very happy how I feel.  Sometimes my tummy feels empty but never starving like I have to eat right now.  I've had very few (real) foods.  Some refried beans with salsa, oatmeal, mushed up tuna with mayo.  I feel tentative and nervous with my new tummy  I'm being very careful.   Other food looks good to me, but in no way a temptation.   I wish this feeling could last forever.   Why can't they invent a pill to always curb the hunger hormone? My husband is extremely attentive and concerned how I'm doing Have to say, I love the attention. I feel like my depression has lifted.  That was a concern,  I'd read that many actually become depressed.   I think because I've experienced large weight loss before,  I've dealt with many of those issues in the past. 

Got out with my husband to shop for some furniture yesterday.   I felt amazing and like I had energy,  then while shopping it hit me! I knew I was going to get sick.  My mouth was watering like crazy, I just made it out of the store and basically had the dry heaves.  I don't know why, I'd had two protein drinks that morning, slowly.  Felt fine, it just hit me.  He took me home and I rested and had a couple sugar free popsicle s.  Today I feel very weak.  Took long nap, only did a few little things and knitted a lot.  I only got in two protein drinks today and tried to focus on as much fluid as I could.  This is a weird process, one minute great, the next running for the bathroom with diarrhea,  although I don't feel bad like I used to with ibs.

One week post surgery.   My hospital stay ended up being 3 nights due to a little extra work by the surgeon and extreme nausea.  I was taken care of wonderfully and very pleased. Since being home I'm very fatigued, more so than I thought I would be.   My brain feels great like I can and want to accomplish so much, but when I get up to do anything,  I Peter out quick.  So I must be patient.   I've been getting in about 45 grams protein and not enough fluids yet.  I've always been weak when it comes to getting enough fluids.  Still have one week of liquids to go before soft foods.  I'm not experiencing hunger, but smells and commercials do make me want food. I try to quickly turn my mind to other things to forget about it.  I think my first taste of real food will be a savory experience. 

Still in the hospital.  Dr, ended up repairing a hiatal hernia.  Didn't even know I had this. I was extremely nauseated yesterday and this morning.  I vomited often, until the Dr ordered a really painful shot of something.  I'd do again tho to feel better.  I had to wrap a heat pack on my arm for several hours to get rid of the pain. Nurses and doctors have been great.  So tomorrow sometime I'll get to go home.  Feeling good, a little overstuffed,  I drank too much unjury too quick.

The PA was amazing.   I was able to discuss why he chose this dimension of practice.   He was in pediatric neurological surgery,  and after being offered a job by the surgeon's,  his intention was to learn lap surgery and move on.  He fell in love with the great outcomes in people's lives and the great people he was working with.  He answered all my silly questions and said I am the perfect patient because I'm dealing with this before major health issues occur.  Today is day one of low cal.  Excited for the hope of a future.  Feeling strong. 

Tomorrow I meet at the surgeon's office for a 1/2 day seminar type thing to go over everything for my upcoming surgery,  exercise needs, mental nèeds, and prepare for my one week low calorie diet.  I'm excited for tomorrow.   I'm scared and nervous about surgery,  but I don't think I'd be normal if I wasn't nervous about changing the rest of my life.  This is very serious and my last hope at making a permanent life style change.  My daughter is still not happy about this at all.  She thinks I'm a bad role model for her, and should be able to do this on my own.   She's young and doesn't understand or remember all I've been through over the years.  She's not willing to read the information I have regard surgery and how it will help me.  I'm prepared though and do not feel guilty.   I'm doing this for me, I want to feel good, run and jump, ride my bike and experience life.  I hurt that she's not happy for me, but I'm proceeding.   My husband is all for it, but nervous about  complications or me being I'll from it.  All normal.   Well, here's to tomorrow! 

I really like my surgeon.  He was very personable and real.  One thing I didn't ask him and would like to="Why did you choose this speciality?" Insurance is all set which surprised me because I have no comorbidies and fall below the BMI level normally excepted.  Surgery is scheduled for November 18.  Yes, I'm excited but it just doesn't seem real.  I already eat high protein and real food.  After all I have learned it makes me sick that American companies are profiting big time from fooling, and tricking people to buy their crap.  On top of that, all the profiting from false weight loss products.  We want so much to believe that with all the science and knowledge out there-someone has invented a magic cure!  Wrong!  It's all work and we have been lied to.

Because of so many years of trying it all, it's hard to wrap my head around this surgery, but truly I am desparate and feeling hopeless.  People tell me that after it's over, I'll realize that it can be true for me and I'll start feeling more confident.  I pray that's true.  I want to put my bathing suit on again, walk a long ways without feeling like I'm dying and sweating like a pig, feel energetic, feel strong. I want to shop for pretty clothes and feel normal.  Next week I have a half day appointment to go over the food plan for after surgery and to start my low calorie diet prior.