2017!

Dec 21, 2016

   I'm finally home with my boo and my pug for the holidays and it feels great:) I had a rough contract and I need time to reflect and recuperate.

  I'm so proud of all that I accomplished this year, but, I noticed as my one year surgiversary approached, I started bingeing more and reverting to old eating habits. I started getting worried, looking at my emotional state, wondering if this was some type of "freak out for the big 40"? Was I going through diet fatigue?!? What the hell? I worked so hard, why at the peak of my success was I slowly sabotaging myself? Well, the answer hit me this morning at 3:00am... I'm feeling lost, unsure, scared! For the first time in 20 plus years, I'm in a room full of opportunities and I no longer have that safety net of "my weight" is holding me back and it terrifies me. Now there's no excuse! Success or failure, it lies with me and I think I'm rebelling. I realize that all those years of self-hatred and longing to lose this weight, there was still a comfort there in using it as an excuse to not fulfill some of my dreams. Facing this revelation has kept me up and I decided to do what I do best, record it. My resolution for 2017, is to face my fears and jump and keep jumping. If I land flat on my face, get up and try again! This room of opportunities, these pathways to the unknown is called life and my NEW YEAR RESOLUTION is to live it! The good, the bad and the ugly.... HERE'S to 2017.

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