question for those that don't tell people about having WLS

Why would it seem strange to you if someone did not want to talk about their personal medical stuff?

I agree with you, saying only "I had WLS" would only be a small fraction of the story.  And I appreciate you pointing that out because I hadn't thought about that.

Great comment!

A lot fewer men have WLS than women, and an even smaller percentage of those are on OH or go to support groups. So I have a pretty small number of men on which to base this. But most men just say they had surgery, and that's it.

It never even occurred to me to hide it, or give a half answer. Maybe we just care less what others think?

I think that might be true.

Thanks for the first chuckle of the day and reaffirming how much I envy men in general.  Many men like to fix a problem and move on.  Many women, like me, like to hash things over.  (Can't tell you how many times my DH has asked me when I'm going to "let go" and enjoy)

I agree, Kelly.  I tried telling people that I was on a high protein, low carb diet, but it just didn't work for me.  I decided that I would be honest and proud of what I did.  There is nothing at all wrong with having WLS.  It takes a lot of courage to take such a drastic step.  I have heard only a few negative comments, but have learned that nothing is more important than being proud of the huge accomplishments of making myself healthy and happy!

I don't think there is anything wrong with having WLS, either.  But that doesn't mean you need to tell everyone if you don't want to.

This is an ongoing decision for me. My close friends know and I will talk about it with some people if the conversation naturally goes in that direction. However, all of my family lives in a different state and we have a very complicated relationship. I did not tell any of them about my surgery and I don't particularly want them to know about it now. I chose to not tell them beforehand for a few reasons, but the biggest reasons were that I didn't think it was any of their business and didn't want their opinion, and I didn't want to expect anything from them during the surgery and recovery process. If they knew I was having surgery, I would expect them to at least care. So I kept it to myself and worked through it with the support of my husband, therapist and close friends. I'm sure they will eventually figure it out, but I don't feel the need to tell them.

My therapist and I have talked at length about what I disclose to strangers/friends/acquaintances and why. The why is the big thing. I don't withhold information because I'm ashamed to admit I had surgery. In fact, I feel like I need to be proud of the decision I've made and if I say 'I had weight loss surgery' it could easily be me taking credit away from myself. So in any conversation about it I'm very aware of what I'm feeling, how open I'm comfortable being, and what my motivation is.

The decision to share or not share is incredibly personal, and I think it every has their own reasons for what they share. Making broad generalizations like 'men share more than women because they don't care about what others think as much' is just not useful or accurate. Saying things like 'not admitting to having WLS is because of shame/guilt' is also judgmental and not always true. I would suggest that we all be careful about how we talk to each other, because we need to support each other. Not judge/attack.

I think you ask a great question and I am interested to read others' thoughts because like I said, this is an ongoing decision for me.

I'm curious about how saying you had WLS would be taking credit away from you?