question for those that don't tell people about having WLS

I'll be honest, for me I don't want many people knowing about my revision. My closest friends know I'm going through the process but I've asked my immediate family not to tell extended family as well and asked my close feiebd a not to disclose it to others. For me I'll admit I'm embarrassed that I failed with the vsg and I'm already feeling pressure regarding a revision. I'm not proud of the fact I'm having to have a second surgery. So for me I feel there is shame there. And I wish I didn't feel that way.  :(

I did a commercial for my surgeon about a year ago and it runs all day long on both the English and Spanish channels here in Miami so I think I have been about as open as I can be about my surgery.  Even if I didn't do the commercial I would still be open about my surgery.  Two people I know have gone forward and had WLS because I was willing to discuss my RNY.  

This is an interesting topic. I'm not knocking anyone's decision on how they handle this but this is how I plan to handle MY situation. I am actually planning to tell anyone that asks how I lost my weight when I have the surgery. As soon as I get a date, I'm going to start a Facebook page on my WLS journey. You never know what hope you a can instill in or inspire someone. No one knows the agony I have been through from my weight related medical conditions. Also the pain, the prejudice and the life I have missed out on because of being overweight practically all of my life. I will have nothing at all to be ashamed of except for the fact that I waited so long to do it. People's opinions mean NOTHING to me. My life and well being mean EVERYTHING! And to say I cheated or took the easy way is like telling someone that hit the lotto that their wealth doesn't count because they got it the easy way. And having this surgery doesn't seem like the easy way at all!  Be happy that I'm healthy instead of how I got healthy! 

For me, it has more to do with the context, and HOW the question is asked than what I do or don't share about my WLS, my pounds lost prior to WLS, my pre-surgery relapse, and peoples expecting me to be "misbehaving" with my food as a post op, because I am no longer engaging in my food addiction. (just got  a new primary care and gave him my food logs because when I had a genuine GI problem he assumed I was eating sugar, which i don't....once fat, always stigmatized     -sigh--)............. The same as with ALL my disabilities, I have found many many people to be "more than socially nosy" and these kinds of people seriously need to mind their own business, and i have no problem telling them that I am not going to discuss it. (How many times have I had the "no, i don't want to race my wheelchair with your able bodied self" conversation also applies to discussing my WLS and or my weight loss with people who don't have a social clue.)  That being said, if someone is asking in a way where they are ready to hear the whole truth, I tell them, in context.  If they are just being nosy, or if I am too tired to deal with explaining it for the 37th time on a given day, I make a joke, like "I know, I can't seem to find the weight either, have you seen it?" and they usually change the subject. It's not about shame or justifying, or being a WLS ambassador, or not, it's not about anything other than what I am up to doing on a given day, with a certain person or situation.  Sometimes, I can get someone who is overweight talking about THEIR weight loss struggles, and maybe I can help them, and that is a big plus for me. Other times, I just say that I lost huge amounts of weight a couple times in my life and I am using the WLS as an extra tool....etc etc.........I talk on here pretty openly, but I am not posting it on my FB page or anything, other than what i do when i have ANY medical procedure done...."home from hospital today" etc..........for a lot of people, it's NOT their business.......best change I can make in my life is to not make my food or my diet or my WL the center of the conversation......it's the same thing as eating all the food at a party..........selfish.......When it's not done in a selfish way, it's being honest.

I told very few people I was having the surgery before hand..in fact I told an old good friend about a month before I was having it done and she told me she about choked on her protein shake as she had just had the surgery..she kept it quiet too, so she is about 5 weeks ahead of me and was a great resource for me..anyways..when people see me now, I just tell them.  I only had 2 people say I was not that big..well I have lost 110 pounds, so I think I was a tad overweight!!  My SIL told me too I just needed to diet, cause some one she knew had it and gained it back..I would of loved to been able to diet it off and not gain it back without surgery!!

I haven't had my surgery yet and I have pondered this question a lot.  I plan to give people a "half answer" to just shut them up and hopefully they'll move on.  I'm not discussing my personal life with everyone I meet (in the middle of the supermarket?!) and if I don't give some kind of an answer they will just make something up and talk behind my back.  So like someone else said I plan to say with hard work, watching what I eat and exercise.  And that is the truth.  So what that it's half the truth, it's really all most people need to know.  

I've been giving this so much thought. In the past, considering WLS, I was ok with disclosure Years later, and a surgery date. I'm not ok with it. After much thought...I'm going to abide by one answer.. "I was given a tool to help, and I'm using the heck out of it!" From there, they can make any assumption they desire. 

I don't want my hard work minimized.  I do not have a supporting family and I only have a few friends, most of which are far away from me. My mother feels that my "work from home job" is not a "real job". I get benefits, paid vacations, stat holidays, regular and consistent hours, and I work for one of the largest telecom companies in Canada... but still, to her, it's not a "real job". I don't want her scoffing in my face and telling me that I cheated or copped out. The wls is a tool and there's no guarantee you'll hit your goal weight or keep it off, but to her - meh, I just know her. I'd rather not deal with being put down.